Catch 22

As I ponder my own problems within the four walls called "church", I can see it is sort of a catch 22.

I came about my condition in a very honest manner and also try to be honest about the problems the condition causes. I have never as yet however run across a pastor that treated my honest condition in any way but backhanded and secretive.

As I understand the bible I thought we were suppose to discuss our problems?

So it has been a catch 22 for me. I would love to find honest fellowship...But how can one be honest and in "fellowship" with a bunch of backstabbers and Judas kisses?

If only I could find a "pastor" I could be honest with and they understood like the Lord does how to deal with the problems post tramatic stress causes. Instead I get shunned and ostracized for things I try to be quite truthful about.

I put up with enough abuse in the world system. Why would I have to continue in abuse when the Lord tells me that there is unity and peace in His body?

I honestly don't think I do need to put up with it.