Christmas time has taken the blog out of me!

It is amazing that some people go into debt to spend one day a year opening packages. A cute little poem on the subject.

The Day After Christmas

'Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurtin', even the mouse.
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.

Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor,
while upstairs the family continued to snore.
And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,
went into the kitchen and started to clean.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what's the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.
The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket said "U.S. Postman".

With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox,
Then quickly he stuffed them into our curb box.
Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:

"Now Dillard, now Broadway, now Penneys and Ward;
Here's Robinson, Saks -- no more can you afford.
To the tip of your limit, every store, every mall,
You charged away -- charged away -- charged away all!"

He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work,
He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.
He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
Driving much faster now, with just half a load.

Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
"Enjoy what you got -- you'll be paying all year!"


---

She was in the grocery isle before me looking in the spice rack.

Should I speak?

I could duck and run and she would never know as cilantro and lemon pepper had her attention.

Oh heck ...she would probably catch me on the next isle.

Hello lady!...

Then the barrage..yak..yak..yak..

My gosh ..grocery shopping usually doesn't turn into an hour event with frozen items begining to melt within my buggy!

I should have ducked and ran.

Oh my gosh I hope I haven't kept you too long.....

not me... but my freezer would argue. It doesn't take well to half thawed chicken and melted fudge bars.

Luke 2:14 Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

May the peace of God fill your lives and homes and His good will surround you.

Surely we can say all things work together toward good

Praise God!

Have you ever gotten one of those nasty curling iron burns on your neck and people begin asking you if it's a hickey?

question- What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
answer- Merry Christmas, Eve.

While not yet Christmas Eve, I am so ahead of shopping this year!
I have some small items to pick up today and I am finished!
Praise God for His goodness!

I will be visiting my dad soon.
He never had to call me and make up divorce to get me to visit as he divorced my Mom when I was twelve.
This little joke is cute (following).
Divorce is not funny though.
Strange how we can even laugh at our misery once the pain heals.
Praise God for healing!

Good News

An elderly man in Phoenix called his son in New York and said, "I hate
to ruin your day Bob, but your mother and I are getting a divorce.
Twenty-five years of misery is enough! I'm sick of her, and I'm sick
of talking about this, so call your sister in Boston and tell her."
Then he hung up.

Bob immediately called his sister, who was absolutely frantic upon
hearing the news. She called her father. "You two are not getting a
divorce!" she yelled. "Bob and I will be there tomorrow. Until then,
don't do a single thing, do you hear me?"

The old man hung up the phone and turned to his wife. "It worked!" he
said. "The kids are coming for a visit, and they're paying their own
way!"

Physics Of Santa Claus

As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with research help from that renowned scientific journal SPY magazine (January, 1990), it's time for the annual scientific inquiry into the Physics of Santa Claus.


No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.



There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. But since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to to 15% of the total -- 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.




Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the Earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seemes logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the Earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle ever made on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second (a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour).




The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull ten times the normal anount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload -- not even counting the weight of the sleigh -- to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison, this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the boat, not the monarch).




353,000+ tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enourmous air resistance; this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion, if Santa ever did deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

In the homosexual “marriage ”debate many are coming up with the notion that marriage is for the sake of rearing children..but that is not the reason the Lord brought man and woman together.

Genesis 2:18
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

The Lord brought men and women together for the simple reason of loneliness. Some couples never bear children.

This in my mind however does not allow that gays should "marry".

I say give them what they want but call it something other than "marriage".

The two can never be compared in the same manners. It is like trying to call a flower a vegetable.

Same sex unions are not the same as male/ female so why would they even desire the same "term"?

Sure they want the tax breaks..so give it to them..call it marigay or something.

It will never be a marriage a bit more that a rose is a potato.

Die unto self! Die unto self!

Myself, being not raised within the man made church frame, often wonder about such. It seems so alien to me to run around preaching "die to self."

How does one die to self?

In the natural realm the only control a man would have over death would be through murder or suicide.

Surely in Christ one does die to self..But is it not within a more natural frame?

1 Corinthians 15:22  For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive.


The term to me seems to be chanting some form of spiritual harkari.

Terms to mortify evil deeds through the Spirit seems more understandable to me.

Romans 8:13  For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.

.But even this is not something one can even hope for without the Lord first granting repentance.

Acts 11:18  When they heard these things, they held their peace, and glorified God, saying, Then hath God also to the Gentiles granted repentance unto life.


Does the Lord grant us as His children death or life?

Matthew 25:46  And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.

If I had my way all such death terms would be changed to....."Live unto Christ".

Someday I know it will.

Just Praise God and let Him handle the hard stuff!

Good Grief... Joshua Gibbs!

http://inthecedarroom.blogspot.com/2004/12/prayers-of-alexander-atlas.html#comments

Even the seed inside a man curses You, chiding the mind on to lust so that it may find a filthy home in the womb of the lascivious woman, and in time, grow arms that it might kill and a tongue that it might lie. The infants in the St. Mary’s nursery cry not for food, but for the knowledge of how to hate Christ Jesus with greater fervor. Every suckling baby nurses so that it may become strong enough to construct high places in which to worship death and preen over the ugliness it calls beauty.

CaPiToL SmAlL CaSe .>.>.> CaPiToL SmAlL CaSe

LoRd WhAt Is WiTh ThIs TyPiNg ? An AlEvE FoR BoRdOm oR WhAt?

VeRy HaRd oN EyEs.

Martha's Homemade Christmas..at Jumbo Joke
You can have these lovely slippers made in Regular, Light Day, or Maxi:

Church Bulletin Blooper-The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment,
and gracious hostility.

gracious hostility

Reminds me of the Christian circles I have visited lately.

Hey.....If someone is gonna be hostile toward me at least do it in hostility.

Grace is misconstrued...Catty Hostility would be the more appropriate term.

A Beautiful Dance-

A few years back within memories I recall a play
I attended at a local church. The youth of our community
put on this play. I went because the director was
from out of state and staying at my bed and breakfast at the time.

I don't recall much detail but the play stands out in my
flashbacks because of one incident.

There was dancing involved in this play. The kids were putting
on a musical of sorts.

The director was a male that brought with him his teen daughter
and her friend. The two girls were involved in the
play and actually playing acting parts.

I recall sitting and watching the teens whirling on stage. The
music beating out time. The teens swaying and leaping when
suddenly the director's daughter fell right middle stage.

The audience laughed at the sudden incident, and I have to admit I
laughed right along with them.

The young girl did not get up but was laying there middle stage
with this horrified look and the audience laughing.

It must have been only a minute, but I am sure it seemed like
eons for the distraught teen.

Then suddenly from behind the curtains runs the director to her
side. He picks her up, looks at the laughing audience and
back at her.

Then with this voice that seem to vibrate
the whole room he said, "hon, you danced beautifully."

Well, the audience hushed and the play went on
and finished. The girl was not hurt and finished
her somewhat clumsy preformance.

I don't recall how or even if anyone else did, but
the incident stands out.

It reminds me of our heavenly Father.

While we are dancing out our parts within this world, we often
find ourselves in a fallen state with the whole world laughing.

He never fails to run to our side, pick us up and say.....
"hon, you danced beautifully".

Up at 2:00 AM and cleaning house.

Who ever said life needed to be normal?

I think I'll cook up some muffins.

Oh Christmas Tree! Oh Christmas Tree!

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

My husband has few faults that I can find. Occasional clothes laying around or caps off the mustard when he puts it back in the fridge...little things like that.

It is horrible that some married couples go through life picking each other apart.

I can find so much more to compliment in my hubby than complain about.

He does the same with me. I rarely hear him tell me something I have done doesn't please him. It is real ... not something done out of pressure .

I am so blessed that we compliment each other and work together..no division and working against one another.

It is truly a blessing.